Are you concerned your daughter isn’t coping socially or emotionally? Does she have anxiety or sensitivities to food, clothes or noise?

Girls and gender diverse individuals are often mis-diagnosed, mis-understood, or missed completely.

So, how can one spot this hidden presentation, commonly seen in autistic girls and gender diverse individuals? We are trying to move away from ‘lists’ and prescriptive notions on what autism is and isn’t. We would prefer you learn about what it means to be an autistic girl or gender diverse young person through our stories and reflections. This is why we share so many stories from our neurokin throughout our socials and resources. This will probably give you a better idea of the fascinating, complex, truly wonderful way we can think, feel, sense, perceive and connect with the world around us. 

However, we have curated some common traits you may see in our ladybugs and those who are high-maskers. Many of us (but not all of us) may: 

• Immerse ourselves in deep focus on passions of a particular subject or interest

• Have a preference for a small social circle, usually one to two safe friends

• Show strong leadership in play with peers (seen as controlling by others) and lean towards less reciprocal play

• Be selective with whom we communicate (seen as ‘very shy’) 

• Be less prone to following traditional social conventions

• Be high maskers, eg. withhold anxiety in public then melt down or shut down once at home

• Be interested in socialising but unsure how to approach making connections

• Have sensory sensitivities

• Feel emotions intensely and display extreme reactions to what others ‘perceive’ as minor problems

• Interpret language literally

• Be more fluid in gender identity and expression

• Be extremely empathetic, nurturing and sensitive

• Have great attention to detail, noticing many things others miss

• Have an incredible imagination

• Be a perfectionist in some areas and at the same time find basic routine tasks overwhelming

• Prefer playing with boys in physical activities rather than small talk with girls  

It is important to remember that we are all unique and individual, and whilst this list has been developed through our collective lived experience, it does not replace any official diagnostic criteria, which as side note, is extremely pathologising and turns our differences into disorders. 

There are a number of misconceptions that arise due to our high masking and this ‘hidden’ or more internalised presentation. Some girls and gender diverse individuals are dismissed as autistic and as we described above, to be ‘just a little shy’. Alternatively, our ladybugs might be thought of as ‘very social’, when in fact masking is in full play, with great efforts to mimic and fit in. Also, some of us will move between groups of children, creating this appearance, but we may not be developing or have the opportunity to develop deep connections. 

Yellow Ladybugs has a range of resources and books, along with very active social media accounts, that we hope help provide support, guidance and assistance along the way.