What is "School Can’t” - to me
What is "School Can’t” - to me
By Kiara Bouteloup
Content note: Mention of self-harm
"School Can’t" is when a child or adolescent is unable to attend school due to severe emotional distress. This is a growing issue globally, especially since the Covid-19 pandemic. In fact, two in five Australian families report experiencing some level of School Can’t. For many children, going to school is extremely difficult, sometimes even impossible, due to reasons like mental health issues, autism, ADHD, bullying, or family problems. A study shows that 92.1% of children with school distress are neurodivergent, and 83.4% are autistic.
School can’t can be very concerning for parents, as education is mandatory and so important in life. However, the vast majority of children who struggle with school attendance are not “lazy” or “spoiled.” They are struggling with issues that make something as “easy” as school, incredibly difficult. In fact, 94.3% of children with school attendance problems experience significant emotional distress.
My Struggles with School
As an autistic person, school has always been difficult for me. It started in daycare, where I had severe separation anxiety. In primary school, I developed several anxiety disorders, including a phobia of vomiting. I also had undiagnosed autism, ADHD, and OCD, which made school even more stressful. I was constantly worried about getting sick or someone else being sick, which kept me from experiencing the fun parts of school, like camp or excursions. By Year 5, my OCD became very time-consuming, but no one recognised it, as I had learned to hide it.
The transition to high school was yet another challenge. I experienced bullying, friendship issues, panic attacks, self-harm, and depression. Then came the first covid lockdown. I thrived during online school. My concentration improved and I felt less stressed. Eventually, I had to go back to school, which wasn’t easy.
At the end of Year 7, we moved houses, and I had to change schools. I didn’t know anyone there and, although I made friends, I still felt anxious and constantly worried others were going to judge me. Then came the second covid lockdown. My OCD became extremely debilitating, and even though I started therapy and medication, going back to school felt impossible. We tried a gradual return, but it was still too challenging. After months of trying, It got to the point where school was causing so much distress that my mum realised it was no longer an option and from that day, my parents decided to pull me out of school.
I then spent 3 months in a mental health facility that was connected to a small mental health school that offered more support, which made it much easier than mainstream school. This is also where I met my best friends, most of whom are also autistic. However, due to the distance from my house, I had to switch back to online school once I was discharged.
After completing Year 10, I completed an online Certificate IV in Psychology, which is a topic I’m very passionate about. At 16, I was accepted into an online Bachelor of Psychological Science at university. Despite missing so much school, I actually ended up ahead of my classmates through using alternative pathways.
I’m still working through a lot of the trauma I experienced due to school, but I’m very thankful for all the support I got from my parents throughout this, even though they were scared and had no idea what the future would hold for me. I am also so thankful that my mum spent so much time researching options for me. She has truly been my biggest support throughout all of this.
Struggles like the ones I experienced are usually not visible from the outside. No one would've guessed how much pain I was going through just by looking at me, despite all the challenges I endured. This is why it is important not to judge someone’s well-being just by looking at them and to believe children who say they can’t go to school. If they could, they would!
A message to parents of children experiencing School Can’t
If your child starts repeatedly struggling with school, then there is likely something going on. They don’t need to have ever struggled with school before, sometimes it comes out of nowhere. Try to communicate with your child to understand the cause(s) and work together to find solutions. This could include contacting the school for accommodations, switching schools, or exploring special education.
If none of these options work, homeschooling or online schooling might be good alternatives, especially for self-motivated kids or those with lower support needs who don’t need support from a teacher or SLSO. Mainstream schooling is not for everyone, especially neurodivergent children. There are other options that can be just as good, sometimes even better, and will allow your child to get the education they are entitled to. Initially, my parents were hesitant to switch me to online school, but they now see that it was the right decision for me.
Alternative Education Options
If you're considering alternative education options, here are some things to know:
Assistance for Isolated Children (AIC): In Australia, if a child cannot attend a local government school (including for health or mental health reasons), then families may be eligible for a government payment that helps cover education costs/fees.
Education Requirements in Australia: In Australia, students must either finish Year 10 or reach a certain age (depending on the state) to leave school. If a child finishes Year 10 before meeting the age requirement, then they must prove that they are enrolled in an approved education or training program (eg. TAFE, VET courses, apprenticeships) to leave school.
Pathways to University: If your child wants to attend university, but is struggling with school, then completing a Certificate IV or above can get you into most university degrees. You can also get an ATAR through TAFE, and Open Universities Australia (OUA) also offers alternative pathways.
By exploring alternative educational pathways, your child can achieve academic success and pursue their interests, but do it in a way that doesn’t cause them so much distress.
Conclusion
School can’t is a growing issue, particularly among neurodivergent children. It’s important to be able to recognise the signs, and to explore alternative educational options if needed. Mainstream schooling isn’t the best fit for everyone, and there are many other ways to succeed. If your child is struggling, you’re not alone, and with the right support, you can help them find a path that works for them.
Sources
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10556686/
https://www.aspect.org.au/uploads/documents/Fact%20Sheets/School-refusal-March-2024.pdf
My social media accounts:
Below I have put my instagram and tiktok accounts which I have recently set up, where I will share more about my story, information about autism, mental health and chronic illness. My dream in life is to become an advocate, educate others, and help make positive changes that will make life easier for autistic and neurodivergent people.
Instagram: @autisticpotsie3
Tiktok: @autisticpotsie